Hello everyone, I’ve been debating on making this message for about a month. However, I hesitated for many reasons, mainly because I didn’t want to let you all down. I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to keep fighting. But it’s become far too much to handle.
Maybe I should start with why I’m leaving. I created this wiki as a place for fans to get together and bond with each other. I wanted it to be a place of love. Of course I didn’t expect it to be butterflies and rainbows all the time (should I say... strawberry fields forever?), but it’s grown so far from that. Every day, I see arguments in the comments with people throwing insults at each other. Drama that began in June still causes issues on the wiki today. The wiki’s grown so far from what it was that I don’t know if I can salvage it.
Believe me, I have tried my best to keep on fighting. At first, it was manageable. Was it enjoyable? No. But I felt like it was my duty to keep the wiki as positive as possible. However, recently, it has become more personal. It seems like every action I do is wrong, with people constantly criticizing me. It feels like I can never do anything right. There will always be someone arguing that what I’m doing is wrong for the community. It’s gotten to the point where I question whether what I’m doing is good for the community or if I’m holding it back. I honestly don’t know.
This wiki used to be a place where I’d come to when I was down or stressed with real-world problems. It was a place to escape. I’d be excited to come here every day, looking forward to hearing everyone’s responses and seeing this wiki grow. Now, it’s become part of my stress. I experience anxiety when I think of it, which only grows when I see notifications. That is why I’ve of late become unresponsive to most messages on my message wall. It’s gotten to the point where it takes too much out of me to respond.
I’ve come to realize that while I have a responsibility to this wiki, I have to take care of myself first and foremost. I can’t keep on harming my mental health just because I feel obligated to check up on this wiki every day. That is why I feel like the only option left for me is to part ways with this wiki, as much as it pains me. I have to focus on filling my life with positivity instead. I’ll likely return around the time news comes out for the new album, though I may feel ready to return sooner. What I can promise is that I will return at a point when I feel stronger and more capable of handling the wiki.
In the meantime, I will be active on my other wikis, so if you wish to contact me, you can contact me there. Again, I’m sorry for letting you all down, but I have to do what is best for myself before I act in the wiki’s best interests. I wish you all the best.